You make your way to the full length mirror in your bedroom, and you scrutinize every aspect of your appearance.\n\nYour clothes seem to be fine, but something about your face grabs your attention. There is something about your skin that gives you a gaunt appearance. You wish you were eating pasta. You wish you were happy.\n\n[[***|exposition]]

You wrap your hair up in a towel and air dry the rest of your body. You wipe away the steam from the bathroom mirror and take a look at yourself.\n\nYou are disgusted by what you see. Your eyes are puffy and red from trying not to cry, and all you can see are your gaunt, starved features. You want to eat all the pasta in the world.\n\n[[***|exposition]]

The bus stops. You board the bus and pay the fare. You fill an open seat, and the bus takes off. The ride is accompanied by the sounds of traffic and the murmurs of conversation.\n\n[[eavesdrop|eavesdrop]]

“This is a nice dining area,” says the driver, “and you should consider your attire.” He throws a jar of red sauce at you. Your pasta dress is covered in marinara!\n\nYou try to hold back your tears as the man continues his verbal assault, but you refuse to turn and let him see your distraught face.\n\n[[just don't cry|harassment ends]]

Pasta Dress\n\nby\n\ntrichybees\n\n[[start|A]]

The cool air of your apartment hits you, and you are happy to be home.\n\nYou check your messages on your phone. There is nothing new.\n\nAs you lie down on the couch, the thought of that boy and his mother infests your mind.\n\n[[***|contemplation]]

The lasagna heats up, and you take it out of the microwave.\n\nTime passes, and eventually the lasagna cools off a little. You stick your finger in the lasagna, and it doesn’t even burn.\n\nYou are ready to take the [[first bite|first bite]].

remember pasta?\nremember marinara?\nremember spaghett?\n\n[[title screen|cStart]]

You hear the sound of the car rolling its window down.\n\n“What the fuck are you wearing?” the driver yells out his window.\n\nYou walk faster and ignore him, but he continues to follow along.\n\n[[just keep walking|harassment continues]]

A thought pops into your head. What is it like to take a bath in spaghetti If I envelop myself in noodles, will that treat my depression?\n\nThe idea is irrational, but you entertain it with glee. Wouldn’t it be great to not have to worry about despair? I could just be myself.\n\n[[go to the kitchen|kitchen]]

Standing in front of the plate of lasagna, you let your instincts tell you where to start eating.\n\nThere is anxiety as you take the first bite, but the feeling passes. There is a bit of pain, you didn't let the lasagna cool off enough, but you grit your teeth and [[continue eating|continue]].

You wish that things were different. You wish your diet was meat free form birth. You wish that you had started eating pasta sooner. You wish that you could eat nothing but pasta. You wish that your depression medication worked. You wish that you didn’t feel so alone.\n\n[[***|pasta fantasy]]

“Hi,” you say.\n\n“Hello,” says the old man. “How are you doing today?”\n\n“I am feeling wonderful in my pasta dress. How are you?”\n\n“Well my knees are acting up today, but I can’t complain too much with this wonderful weather we’re having.”\n\nYou continue to make small talk with him.\n\n[[bus arrives|bus arrives]]

The past three weeks have been rough. You have been trying to cut non-carbohydrates out of your diet, but you have come across so many road blocks. Your parents are somewhat supportive of your decision, but your brother disowned you. Some of your friends are happy for you, but others are just completely alienated by this change.\n\nEating lunch at work was a real pain. You were reassigned to work inconvenient hours just to keep out of sight of customers, and it seems you hear snide comments and laughter every time you pass by other employees.\n\n[[***|depression]]

You find yourself at a bus stop bench. You notice an old man sitting down and staring into the distance. As you take a seat, he turns his head and gives you a polite nod.\n\n[[wave|wave]]\n[[speak|speak]]

You pass a bus stop, but you decide it is too gorgeous a day to not walk home. You admire all the Italian restaurants that you pass by and start to whistle a tune. A couple cars pass by, and one car in particular slows down to cruise next to you.\n\n[[continue walking|harassment]]

You run the rest of the way to your home, and you burst through the door. You are comforted by the security the walls provide from the outside world, but the cool air hitting your marinara covered pasta dress makes you feel unclean.\n\n[[shower|shower]]

You step off the bus and make your way to your home.\n\n[[step inside|inside 1]]

You jump into the bathtub full of spaghetti, and a sense of warm sliminess engulfs you. This is so weird. There are noodles filling every crevice of your body.\n\nA thought strikes you. It looks like you are submerged in a tub of blood and tape worms.\n\nThis thought makes you vomit.\n\n[[***|vomit 2]]

You figured out that a meal plan can help you save a lot of money, so you bought up a lot of pasta to last you between monthly grocery shopping trips.\n\n[[***|preparation 1]]

You are walking along the street, returning home from a lunch date with your friends, and you notice a skip in your step. Maybe it is the sweet gust of air that flows through your pasta dress. Maybe it is the clear sky that stirs you with its beauty. Maybe your tongue is still buzzing with the taste of pasta you ate earler. You don’t care what the source of this influence is; you are just glad to have dissipated the lack of pasta filling your life lately.\n\nIt is a long way home from your house.\n\n[[ride the bus|bus stop]]\n[[continue walking|continue walking]]

You dump all the pasta in the largest boiler in the world, and wait for it to cook.\n[[fill bathtub|bathtub]]

You try not to listen in on what people are saying, but something catches your ear.\n\n“Mommy, why is that weirdo wearing food?” a little boy says pointing in your direction.\n\n“Tommy, it’s not nice to point,” says the mother. She turns toward you. “I’m sorry about my son. He didn’t mean anything by it.” Her gaze lingers on your dress for an uncomfortable amount of time before she turns away.\n\n[[***|blush]]

You find yourself lying in a tub full of spaghetti garnished with a bit of your vomit. This is the lowest point in your life. How did you even get here? Think about that.\n\nYou will never eat spaghetti again.\n[[The End|haiku]]

You wave at him, and he smiles. The old man returns to gazing in an absent direction. Moments pass in silence.\n\n[[bus arrives|bus arrives]]

You pour yourself a glass of water and place a bunch of lasagna in the microwave.\n\nYou are a bit nervous to go through with this, but you know that this act of eating will revitalize you.\n\n[[eat your lasagna|eat lasagna]]

You ate too much lasagna, and it has made you sick. Feeling awful, you lie down in your own sick and weep and what a pathetic life you lead.\n\n[[The End|haiku]]

“Let’s get out of here already, Chad,” says a woman.\n\nYou turn to see a female passenger in the car. The driver and passenger argue.\n\n“The next time I see you out here, I’ll kick your carb loading ass,” says the driver. The car drives away.\n\n[[continue walking home|house 2]]

Your head is filled with pasta fantasies.\n\n[[lasagna|lasagna]]\n[[spaghetti|spaghetti]]

You make your way to the kitchen, and you open your refrigerator. In it are a bunch of plastic containers, but they are hiding something special.\n\nYou dig through the containers to find a three weeks worth of lasagna. This supply was supposed to last you until your next trip to the [[grocery store|grocery store]], but now they are going to help you binge eat.\n\n[[pour a glass of water|water]]

You throw a strand of pasta against the cabinet, and it sticks. You drain the water from your vat of pasta and pour it into your bathtub full of tomato sauce. You are ready for the best feeling ever.\n\n[[submersion|submersion]]

You make your way to the kitchen. You find an abundance of uncooked angel hair pasta and tomato sauce on your counter. You think about [[how much food you have left for the month|grocery store]].\n\n[[***|pace]]

You fill your bathtub with gallons of tomato sauce. You know the stain left behind will be a pain to deal with, but you are too psyched about this spaghetti bath.\n\n[[check on the pasta|check pasta]].

You thought you did a good job with your clothes today. You love your pasta dress. What did you do to be noticed by that boy and his mother. Was it your body language? Maybe you overestimated your ability to wear a pasta dress, and it made you stick out even more.\n\n[[check mirror|mirror 1]]

You strip off all your clothes and step into a steamy shower. The hot water hitting your skin alleviates some of the tension in your muscles, but you're still shaken from your experience with the driver.\n\nYou get lost in your thoughts over the confrontation, considering reporting an assault, and the hot water runs out. The shock of the cold water derails your train of thought, and you quickly jump out of the shower to dry off.\n\n[[dry off|mirror 2]]

You pace around the kitchen for a while thinking of how much work this fantasy will take to realize. You try to convince yourself that this will be fun, but you still are nervous.\n\n[[boil pasta|boil pasta]]

You continue forcing bites of lasagna into your mouth. Some of them are small, and others are large. You can hardly taste the individual ingredients in the lasagna from all the bites you've taken. Each bite is made with less enthusiasm.\n\nEventually you drop your fork and vomit.\n\n[[***|vomit 1]]

A thought pops into your head. What if I eat a lot of lasagna? I will be too full to be depressed.\n\nThe idea is irrational, but you entertain it with glee. Wouldn’t it be great to not have to worry about despair? I could just be myself.\n\n[[go to the kitchen|preparation 1]]

Pasta Dress\n\nby\n\ntrichybees\n\n[[start|A]]

Your cheeks fill with heat as you blush over the observation the boy made, and you try to maintain your composure. The bus approaches your stop, and you signal the driver to let you off.\n\n[[exit bus|house 1]]